I’ve struggled to write anything in the last 12 to 14 months. I came close (again) to giving up, devoting my time to something else, but I always find my way back eventually. You need to take a deep breath sometimes, look at the sun awhile, before you dive back into the pool.
This time, though, was the longest, most challenging period of writer’s block I have ever experienced. I wrote one novelette and some pages of notes for a few other stories, but that’s it. The story is 11,500 words, it’s called Perspective, and it’s due to be published in Black Static magazine in September 2016.
I started writing Perspective in November 2014 and finished it 1 year later. That’s right, it took a year! I’ve said elsewhere that it is the darkest story I’ve ever written, and I don’t type that with any sense of pride; it is a cold fact. As is this: some people will struggle with its darkness and its themes. And I accept that. As long as they can accept that it was not written to offend; it was written with honesty. Readers will walk away with their own opinions on the plot and the overarching themes (it is no coincidence the title is Perspective, folks – hint hint) and that is something I am totally fine with; in fact, I welcome it. It’s why the story was the hardest thing I’ve ever written – having to juggle three different viewpoints with various elements and details made it a nightmare to write. I doubt I’ll ever be convinced I got it exactly the way I wanted it, but it’s done. That said, editor Andy Cox made this comment after reading it: “It’s devastating… Felt like I was shaking when I put the story down. I’ll be thinking about it for a very long time.”
Please consider purchasing a copy of Black Static #54 in September and let me know your thoughts.
On to the next piece of news. I am writing again. Furiously. And the reason for that is simple: I have removed myself from a situation that was soul-destroying and infuriating and wholly unnecessary. I can’t (won’t) go into the details here but I will say that the decision I have made has lifted a colossal weight from my shoulders. So…
I am leaving the UK.
Returning to Malta.
Now, this wasn’t a decision I necessarily wanted to make (not now, anyway) but the situation above became unbearable and so it forced my hand. Something had to give and that something was me. Before my son found himself growing up without a father.
We leave in 6 weeks. Packing has begun, plans underway.
Flights and hotel booked.
A second chance at our new beginning.
Will it work out this time? Who knows. The odds are evens, I say. But the time is right to finish what we started back in 2011 and give it a good enough ‘go’ that even if it doesn’t work out this time either then we can at least walk away and not be forever looking back with regret. That way, my friends, lies madness.
Back to the writing.
So, yes, I’ve been busy. I picked up my tale of the undead that I started way back in February 2015 and went to work on it again. It’s called The Incarnations of Mariela Pena. It’s currently 16.5k words, a novella by the time it’s done, and the best thing I’ve ever written, hands-down.
The structure is a story within a story (mise en abyme). The first is set in north-east Libya and explores the relationship of two NATO soldiers following an outbreak that threatens the whole of Europe and the Middle East, and perhaps even the world. The soldiers have been ordered to protect a stretch of coastline from the undead or infected, who arrive via the currents of the Mediterranean Sea from the islands of Malta and Gozo – the site of a terrorist attack and subsequent chemical weapon response (gone wrong). The second story is set in the past, in Mexico, and explores the relationship between one of the soldiers and a Mexican stripper with a disfigurement, the eponymous Mariela…
Incarnations is about repeating the mistakes of the past, both on a personal and global level, and how our failures are resurrected time and time again… I can’t wait to finish this one and get some feedback from a beta reader or two.
I’ve also been editing my novel. Finished almost 5 years ago, I set it aside and returned to writing short fiction, although with the intention of sending it to agents and/or publishers at some point. Well, that never really happened. So, I’ve dug it out and now I’m 450 manuscript pages into the final round of handwritten edits, hoping to have them finished and transferred to the laptop by the end of August. I’ve always struggled to categorise or pigeonhole this book (it’s a strange one!), however during these latest edits I realised that it is in fact suited to the YA (Young Adult) market. And so, my attempts to publish it in the future should be better focused. The title has also been changed. Halfway Somewhere Else. I like it.
Finally, with the resumption of the above, I have also gone back to work on the selecting and editing process for my delayed collection, Bring Your Own Light, which is due to be published by TTA Press sometime in the future. I currently have four stories edited, with another seven stories waiting to be reviewed, and the possibility of one or two others, length permitting.
Long story short…it’s great to be finally moving forward again.